Fri 27^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Briefing on the treacherous Khumbu Icefall

Bags packed

Shower....whilst Monca wasnt looking.....

We leave at 1am Saturday morning.

All a bit nervous.

6 nights on the mountain, four at Camp 2, one at Camp 3, one at Camp 2 then Base Camp.

More later!!!!

Thurs 26^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Feeling a bit better today but I am not going to do any more ice training, which is scheduled for this afternoon and tonight. The Icefall is not very technical so I feel comfortable with my skills, its much more important that I am well rested and get through Saturday morning well.

I spend time in the White Pod, reading, blogging and emailing. Business seems to be thriving in my absence which is both reassuring and ominous!

We have to select our food for the six nights away. Whilst we will get food at Camp 2 we still need it for 8 to 9 hours on Saturday and for the trip to and night on camp 3.

After lunch I try to take a shower but am accused by the Camp Doctor, a Spanish woman of origin called Monica that I am being ‘selfish’.... despite the fact that all the other team have showered and I was waiting in line behind the Guides. She makes this accusation in front of two other members (paying clients), both in my group who I later discover found this quite funny. I leave the situation as I can feel my blood boiling. I have felt from the start that this woman doesn’t like me and later when I discuss this with other members there is a general dislike of her.

If I want someone to talk to me in that way ...I can always pick up the phone to my ex wife!

I go to my tent to rest and pack for Saturday.

So when she appears at dinner in our tent I say...’Oh here’s the ‘Shower Monitor (Monica....get it)’’....... to which she retorts ‘if you think I am going to apologies I am not, you will just have to get over it’.

A thoroughly professional response from our Camp Doctor.....NOT!

On a lighter note a stray dog that had befriended our camp for the past week was taken 5 miles down the valley today by a kindly Base Camper who the knew the dog from the previous year.

This Labrador 'mongrel' had been creeping into tents and indeed sleeping bags at night much to the surprise, concern and indeed anger of many people. If you raised your voice to it or picked up a stone (who would do that) it gave its best 'Mutley' impression and you couldnt but take pity on it.

Well about five hours after it left and we felt safe leaving our tents open to air..... it had returned !!!

Sleep at about 9.15pm. Awoken at 12pm by the other group leaving but soon asleep again and awake at 6.45am to a very, very frosty tent.

Weds 25^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

I would have married 14 years today if I hadn’t been divorced earlier this month!

After breakfast we are given a briefing and the groups are confirmed.

Basically the groups are to stay the same, although our group will begin to climb after the other group.

There are some concerns over the state of the icefall but we are all aware that this part of the climb can never be guaranteed as completely safe but we will start through it at 1am so as to go at the safest time.

We are now scheduled to leave here at 1am on Sat 28^th April; the other group will leave at 1am on Fri 27^th April (i.e. tonight).

We will aim to reach Camp 2 which is at 6,400m, so the climb is a similar vertical height to the Base Camp to Lobuche summit but the terrain is more technical, we are at a much greater altitude and the linear distance is far greater. We have to pass Camp 1 at the top of the Icefall by 7am otherwise we may not be allowed to progress to Camp 2. This is because beyond the Icefall is the Western Cym where the geography dictates that this amazing natural spectacle often becomes an airless suntrap with temperatures reaching up to 40 deg C. Slowing progress of even the most hardened athlete to almost a halt.

We then aim to spend 4 nights at Camp 2 before climbing to Camp 3, halfway up the steep Lhotse Face at some 7,300m (over 24,000ft) and attempting to spend the night there, perched on a hewn out ledge, over a 3,000ft drop before descending to Camp 2 the following morning.

One more night at Camp 2 then a descent back to Base Camp. We should return on the morning of Fri 4^th May!

I go to lunch, feeling hungry and it’s Pacific Salmon with salad and a pasta salad. I am a bit late but devour loads when I then find out we are scheduled to take a 3 hour trip into the lower reaches of the Icefall.

I then have to hurry my lunch, hurry to get rigged and am in the appointed time, properly togged up to have to wait for someone else who also did not get the brief.

Consequently we set off at quite a lick to cover a 30 min hike to the start of the ice in 20 min. My stomach is not happy; usually this would pass so I soldier on. We get to the Icefall, don crampons and start clambering up, down and around ice formations. I now have a painful stitch, I drop back a little, the stitch becomes a stomach cramp, which then becomes a retch...... I am forced to a halt. Another retch and a partial vomit... I try to go on but it’s no use.

Now what would my Mum say..... Excessive physical exertion immediately after a big meal? For the first time in 50 years and some 33 years after I left home...Mum ...you were right.

I turn around and slowly, feeling like something out of Napoleons Army on the retreat from the failed campaign on Moscow, I retrace our steps slowly.

I am feeling absolutely awful. Stopping every 100m to bend over and try and ease the pain. All energy escapes me and a return trip which should take me some 45 mins takes almost an hour and a half.

Everyone passes me.

I collapse into my tent at about 4pm and don’t emerge until breakfast the following day.

Children.....listen to your Mums!!!!! 

PS We had our first retiree depart this morning, Chimu who I shared with a room with early on in the trek in. A really, really nice guy who has quite a large property rental business in Texas, five children and has set up a charity helping Peruvian homeless. He is travelling with his family in Europe in June / July and I hope he will pop by on his travels. He did the first half of the trip, but found it a bit taxing, acquired a knee injury but just decided he didn’t want or need it enough so called in a chopper. He also donated an additional $10,000, half to a Sherpa Charity and half to be shared between the Sherpas. A lovely guy who was big enough and courageous enough to make the call to quit when his heart was no longer in it.

Tues 24^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Rest Day

Another awesome sleep of some 7 hours solid, obviously helped by the antics and alcohol of last night.

Today we have the ‘Puja’. This is the traditional Buddhist ceremony held before we set foot on Everest, Chomolungma, Mother Goddess of the Earth.

It is to give us good luck and assist our safe return.

After breakfast, at about 10am, we assemble around the cairn like construction of stones which marks the entrance to our camp and is decorated with fags and ribbons. It has a form of altar and on one side Juniper is burnt on a small fire to provide incense!

All over this part of Nepal there are lots monuments and brightly coloured lines of flags strung from rock to rock. As these flutter in the breeze they are supposed to bring good luck.

There are some 50 climbers and 20 trekkers here and along with the climbing Sherpas and camp staff we must number some 125 people.

All the climbing Sherpas are dressed smartly in black trousers, their bright blue down Himex wind proofs, white Himex caps and wraparound sunglasses... ‘Tres Cool’.. They are sat neatly in rows in front of the ‘Altar’. The ones to the left hand side lightly splutter as periodically they are engulfed in Juniper smoke as the light wind constantly shifts and swirls.

Everyone is encouraged to place an object on or near the ‘Altar’ to have it blessed. A lot of people choose ice axes, harnesses and boots. Some choose something a little more sentimental like photographs and jewellery. Bizarrely someone even had one ‘Ipad 3’ blessed, which is going to the summit! I had a very special small stone placed on the ‘Altar’, which I hope to leave on the summit.

The Sherpas start to chant, a low hum, tea is poured for everyone, and rice is handed around.

At various parts of what turns out to be an hour and a half ceremony rice is thrown in the air.

Of course all the boys from WWTW take this as an opportunity, like errant schoolboys in morning chapel, to throw rice at their colleagues, trying to get it in their hair and down their necks. As its quite fun, I join in a little. Whilst there is an air of formality we have been encouraged to take photographs and move around as we please. Our rice throwing silliness is taken in good heart. Others have also joined in, even the odd Sherpa or two!

It’s another glorious sunny morning and the setting is unique and moving.

As the chants come to an end, trays of food and pastries are handed around, together with beakers of white rice wine and tots of whiskey. I am not sure this rice wine is an export opportunity and I am quite relieved when Wisey makes me ‘neck the remainder in one go.

It tastes like alcoholic rice milk.....er.... which is what it is!!

Then everyone starts to wish each other good luck. Everyone is respectful of this mountain and especially the notorious Khumbu Icefall and this ceremony is all about a safe return.

We all shake hands, wish each other good luck and as is the modern way, men are hugged by men as much as women. No kisses.... though you are on your guard with Pierre our tame Frenchmen and Serge our Russian Bear.

There is an incredible air of goodwill, friendliness, fellowship and happiness in the air. In this extraordinary setting, surrounded by towering white peaks, huge glaciers and rock piles, we meek and fragile humans have come together with the sole purpose of climbing these massive mountains. We need luck on our side.

Taking ourselves out of our armchairs, accepting the risks and accepting the challenge to just experience something different. To find out how our bodies will cope, how far we can get, what it will be like up there and how we  might feel.

Once again I am overcome with a huge emotion, one of genuine happiness that 130 odd people can feel so at peace with each other, united in an understanding as to what and why we are doing this. Once again the sunglasses come in handy as a tear emerges. These ex boot necks are complete cry babies!!

I came on this trip expecting to meet the classic unsatisfied, insecure persons who hoped to complete themselves by getting to the top of the world’s highest mountain. After 4 weeks and lots of chats over meals, on the trek, in tents and over beers I have been gladly disappointed.

These people are just hungry for life, maybe greedy for life. To a person, this mountain is just another small step on their life’s journey. These are people who have flourishing careers, large successful businesses, families, who give and raise money for good causes. Vain enough to compete in marathons, iron man triathlons and all manner of sporting excellence but people who ordinarily would not have the chance to experience all that that climbing this mountain has to offer without an organisation like Himex.

The WWTW guys too have the opportunity to maximise their chances of reaching the summit and minimise the chances of injuring their bodies further.

Some ‘proper’ climbers are disparaging about commercial mountain enterprises such as these. I read Reinhold Messners book on his first ascent of Everest without oxygen in 1978.

Whilst I admire him as probably the world’s greatest mountaineer, did he start a business from scratch in China, now employing 350 people and raise a family of two children, did he start up a company in the US now employing 150 people and raise a family of five children, did he ever become CEO of a listed company in New Zealand or head up the Civil Engineering department for an Australian State. The list goes on.

None of us could or wanted to be professional climbers but are fortunate enough to be able to experience something of their world. We are grateful.

I rest in the afternoon, catch up on emails.

It’s been a lovely day. I think I will sleep well.....I do, almost 8 hours straight!

Mon 23^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Blogging and emailing this morning.

Today some 10 climbers and about 20 trekkers have joined us. The trekkers have a couple of WWTW guys who didn’t make the WWTW Everest team. Andy and Chris. They seem nice guys.

At supper time the camp is full and in the evening we have the privilege of the famous Mr Russel Bryce for company. He has something on his mind tonight as he doesn’t want the usual film being shown in the White Pod and the red wine box in our mess tent is determinedly proffered by him to all. This wine is even worse than the last one we finished.

We are made to finish this one too. I manage to get away with about 3 glasses. Once the taste goes, the edge is definitely taken off the world. Which is pleasant.

As we emerge from out dining tent we are greeted by sounds of jolly people and popular dance music from the White Pod just up above us. In fact as we go inside there is a full on night club in swing.

It only gets worse, flashing head torches are affixed to the walls; beers are handed out at random. Russ decides to ‘Formula One’ a bottle of Champagne...those nearest get drenched and then. the bottle is passed around open foaming mouths!

Woody (one of the head guides) strips to his wiry waist and scales the inside of the White Pod, which is at least 15ft at its highest, using the metal frame to do his best orang-utan impression, swinging by one arm and then one leg. A plethora of concerned drinkers link arms underneath him for when he comes crashing down.

Surprisingly he makes a safe unaided return and shortly after Russ makes his entrance now redressed in suit and tie and gives a solo virtuoso resembling an amateur break dancer who is receiving a 500v electric shock ....... now I know where Chris Dovell gets his dancing technique from!

Thankfully the electrical power runs out at 1145pm and we all have to retire to our tents.

Sun 22nd April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Not great sleep, often wake up about 4.30am feeling cold. Rubbish sleeping bag.....-30 deg C......pah, salesmen !

Spent the morning on the blog. It takes ages doing this blog but thanks for the positive feedback, clearly the most amusing part so far seems to be the double No 2s on the summit of Lobuche! Ok so now I know were the sweet spot is for my readers I can compose accordingly!

After  lunch we have a treat, the guides have set up an ‘Icicle Obstacle Course’ which we will go and play on this afternoon.

This consists of 30ft ascents, traverses and descents, together with up and down ladders and a horizontal ladder to simulate a crevasse crossing. This is to practice all our techniques we may need in the icefall.

We spend just under two hours with one group going one way and another going the other way, then everyone turning around and doing it in reverse, crossing each other in the process, which is fun.

It really teaches you how important technique is at this altitude, if your crampons slip on the near vertical ice the weight is often transferred to your arms as well as the other leg and any large exertion needs a lot of panting to recover from.

We all agree every fun park should have one and kids would love it.

I get some rest when we get back; it was really good training but quite tiring too.

Movie tonight is Zombieland. Lots and lots and lots of Zombies dies, but the four heroes and heroines don’t!

Sat 21^st April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Rest Day

The shower scheduled for yesterday took place this morning. It was, OMG, some 10 days after the last one! It did get to the point where even I was appalled at the smell certain parts of my body were making.

We have these hand held showers which resemble small plastic barrels with a handle through the top and a shower head attached to a coiled plastic tube.

You have this filled with hot water; you pump the handle some 20 times and then press the lever on the head to release the water flow.

All this is done in a tent. What you don’t want to do in this climate is find an already full unit, which saves you the walk over to the kitchen tent, strip naked, pump and then douse only to find the water is stone cold...nigh freezing as it is one someone else has used a few hours earlier!! Which is what I did the previous week.

 Once cleansed it’s time for some dhobi (Washing). Socks, underwear and a few tops. A lot of us wear this Mourino wool, Icebreaker tops which supposedly retain a fresh smell for weeks at a time of wearing without washing.....not sure I believe that. It might just be my armpit which smells and not the clothing but there is definitely a strong odour after a week!

I chill after lunch.

The movie choice tonight is Inception. Dreams within dreams, within dreams, within dreams... with Leonardo Di Caprio. Lots of people seem to die but he doesn’t!

Fri 20^th April 2012 Lobuche Summit 6000m to Lobuche Base Camp 4820m to Everest Base Camp 5300m

Woken up at 5am by Alexis’s booming voice in the next tent saying ‘Good alarm clock that’... without thinking, having being risen out of quite a deep sleep I retort ‘...And so is your bloody voice!’

I spent the rest of the morning apologising profusely to Alexis, who is one of the kindest guys on the trip. He eventually replied ‘...And I thought I was speaking so softly’.

We are told to be off by 7am but some of the team have dispensed with breakfast and are off by 6am.

I go over the ‘edge’ at 6.35am. This time I really want to focus on my technique and being on my own I make much, much better, quicker and easier progress than I did last time.

I make Camp 1 in just over an hour just as the other team are coming up to do their two nights.

The feeling of sympathy for them having to go up there and contentment that I don’t have to, is difficult to conceal.

Crampons off and in the rucksack then down the rock face.

Down in 2 hours, last time it was 3 hours so an improvement. The fastest have taken 1 and a half.

Breakfast, then its goodbye to Lobuche Base Camp as I set off for Everest Base Camp.  Relief...... We have all had our fill of the restricted menu and have seen quite enough of this particular mountain, despite the training and acclimatisation being of excellent value.

I am on my own again but enjoying the walk. It’s sunny but with a gentle cooling breeze at my back, perfect trekking conditions.

I make pretty good time, arriving at EBC (Everest Base Camp) in just over 2hrs 45mins, the same time I took on the way up.

Just in time for lunch then afterwards in the White Pod, Harry (the ex RM and SAS) guide cracks open a beer. After 20 mins of ‘chocolate’ discipline, it melts, and myself and most of the WWTW team join in a massive 4 can session ....... 2 pints of weak lager each and the world is fuzzy, communicative, happy place!

The shower can wait until tomorrow!

Another awesome solid sleep. It’s good to be back!

Thurs 19^th April 2012 Lobuche Summit 6000m

Today is spent resting but the guides have put up a rope to an adjacent summit.

I have asked to be excused and apart from a few photographs spend the day resting in bed, reading and listening to music. I can tell that by the end of this expedition my I pod will need a complete overhaul as I am listening to it so much. Even I am now bored with my music tastes!

In the afternoon I have that warning bell from my digestive tract which I was really hoping not hear until tomorrow when we were back in Base Camp.

I try to ignore it but to no avail. Very reluctantly I have to get up and don my climbing boots. We are on a summit so if you do wear just the innards to the climbing boots or indeed the quilted boots that some wear inside their sleeping bags you could easily slip on the snow and literally slide thousands of feet to an untimely demise. A slightly more heroic end that the Airport Car Park, but pretty ignominious all the same.

I make my way to the small ‘dug out’ area which affords a measure of privacy for this unfortunate activity.

No solid waste can be left on the mountain so we are given a two bag system. The first is almost the same size as a black poly bag; it receives the material and is then placed within the sealable second bag. Quite an unpleasant affair. You then hope the entire ‘package’ freezes as you have to take it down with you to Base Camp.

Phew, what a relief that’s over. Back to my tent, music and book.

45 mins later....... No....... No Way...... NOT possible.

Another 10 mins   No...... No, No, No..........

Another 5 mins ......... I just CAN’T believe this.......

Another 3 mins........ On with boots...coat....and ‘package’.

We only have one ‘package’ each so...it has to be REUSED......

Where oh where is the glamour in this sport???

Its Beef Casserole and Dumplings for supper....

A curse to my genetic line that I don’t have the genes to allow my internals to close up after 5,800m of altitude for at least two days and off to sleep!

Weds 18^th April 2012 Lobuche Base Camp 4820m to Lobuche Summit 6000m

Up and ready for the ‘Le Mans’ start.

It’s quite unusual to climb the same mountain just 2 days after you have already climbed it, unless you are a guide.

Psychologically you know whets coming which can be a good and bad thing. You now the route but in this case you know where and when it’s going to hurt.

The boots feel slightly better on the first rocky part of the climb. I have reduced my pack weight by almost a half and feel the benefit of this. It is still hard.

I have loaded up with energy and snicker bars. I am going to try and eat at least 60g of carbohydrates an hour and am going to stop every 100m, after the first hour and a half (Camp One) to intake food and water... what we used to ‘March Discipline’. I have learnt that a man of my weight can burn up to 80/90 g of carbohydrates per hour on long term arduous exercise but the body can only digest about 50/60g per hour. It worth trying to minimise the ‘Carbo Gap’.

I really want to protect my health but do the best I can.

I reach Camp One without too much drama. On with crampons and strap on my ice axe which I left in one of the tents on the way down. I make a good change over but Jaco and Francis are already well ahead. It’s not long before Martin and Serge (our Russian Mountain Man....very experienced and very strong) come up and pass me as I am taking one of my 100m stops.

I am feeling ok but soon Wisey passes me about halfway up whilst I am munching my second Snickers and gulping water. It is now very hot as we are in the full glare of the morning sun.

The really steep final third is just as hard, or even harder, than two days ago. However I feel my technique is much improved and myself, Henry, Carl (both WWTW) and I climb the last section together. We round the corner to the last section to the summit. Whilst it has taken about 5 hours I get to the top with energy. I haven’t been quick, the times ranged between 3 and a half and five hours, but I have looked after myself. Hopefully I can eventually get rid of this infection.

I have the luxury of a single tent as Dan, my tent mate, was advised there was little point in coming up for a second time as he is the Media Man for WWTW and whilst wounded himself, he is not on the WWTW Everest Summit Team.

I put the two ground mats on top of each other and similarly the two sleeping bags. I have not bought a ‘modern’ sleeping mat to save weight as I always remember in the Arctic, with the Marines, finding the issued mats (which the Sherpas supply in the mountain tents) sufficient. Time will tell if this proves a good or bad call!

We have 14 tents perched on the mountain top. It is an extraordinary experience. ‘Outrageous’ exclaimed Henry, the WWTW mentor (almost the same age as me, ex Army Officer... now a banker ....but apart from that he is quite ok).

I rest and cough for the rest of the day. Interspersed with melting snow, cooking myself brews and boil in the bag foods.

Tonight was Chicken Casserole and Treacle Pudding in Syrup.

So far no real effects from altitude, just a slight pressure in my temples, not a headache so I don’t take anything for it and after a few hours it subsides.

This is the highest I have ever been but I sleep reasonable well. Waking up every 2 or 3 hours but going back to sleep almost immediately.   

Mon 16^th April 2012  Lobuche Camp One 5250m to Summit of  Lobuche 6,000m and down to Lobuche Base Camp 4820m

Up at 4.10am as we understood we are leaving for the summit at 5.30am. It seems like a lot of time but we have to boil enough snow for about 4 litres of drink between us and also some for our breakfast of ‘porridge oats in the bag’. Get dressed, pack our kit, clean the tent, morning ‘ablutions’ (teeth clean, definitely No 1’s, hopefully not, but possibly No 2s!) its just about enough.

We actually think we are doing really well, having eaten, got dressed and I am cleaning the cooking and eating utensils at 4.55am when Adrian the lead guide hollers...’5 mins to go....lets have you ready to go!’. What the blazes? Who? What? Where?..... We seem to have misheard the brief. We were the furthest tent away and the brief was given last night between tents. Not 5.30am departure but 5am!! Seems like a case of ‘Send Three and Four Pence we are going to a Dance’ (rather than ‘Send Reinforcements we are going to Advance’).

A scramble ensues. Something akin from the opening scene of Four Weddings and a Funeral the dialogue between Dan and I is....’F***.......F***.......F***,F***........F*** !!!!!!

20 minutes later we on our way. Crampons now affixed to these ‘Muck locks’ so they are even more unwieldy. We start on rock, thinly covered with snow and ice. Scratching and Scritching over this terrain is not easy....’F***......F***.....F***!!!’

The snow starts to get a bit deeper, which makes it easier and the first 45 minutes pass quite well as we calm down. We then start to encounter some more harder or technical parts accompanied with fixed ropes. Outside the glare of the guides I am much more efficient with my ‘Jumar’ and security.

It starts to get harder and we encounter an 80ft cliff which is almost vertical and I struggle up it with my two good arms and legs. Way above me Martin and Jaco from WWTW have scaled this piece much more easily than me with just ‘One’ arm!! Unbelievable.

Now after an hour and a half, as we get higher the terrain changes so that we are travelling just on compacted snow, which is better underfoot, but it starts to get steeper and harder to breath as we are at almost 20,000 ft.

It’s all about getting into a rhythm. As it gets to about 45% incline I am reduced to a breath in and out for 2 steps, as it gets to 50% it’s a breath in and out for one step (try it...its slow...I am old...I am 50...and feeling every single year)...at 55% its 2 whole breaths per step...at 60% its 3 breaths per step......to all intents and purposes stationary to the naked eye!

Thankfully and almost incredibly someone else from our team is going even slower than me. I am invited to pass them, I decline gracefully, thankful for some sort of respite for my cough ravaged lungs..

Eventually the summit is in sight and then reached. Cameras and welcoming smiles, manly hugs (it’s the done thing these days....not Gay at all). The view is truly breathtaking. We can see Everest, Nuptse, Ama Dablam, the whole of Everest Base Camp and the surrounding glaciers. The Himalayas in its full glory, there is surely no better, more beautiful natural spectacle on Earth.

Once again I am completely overcome with emotion, I step slightly to the side, drop to my knees and cry uncontrollably and unashamedly. It happened on Kilimanjaro, the Cosmic Arêtes, Mont Blanc. My thoughts always go to that sad night over 11 years ago, in Great Ormond Street Hospital, when we had to let go of our son Ben. He was only two months old, never got out of hospital but somehow his passing taught me to value everything and every day so much more.

From that day on I looked for the ‘Champagne Moment’ in every day. The moment something wonderful happened. It might be a herd of deer jumping fences in the dawn light, a flock of Canada Geese flying low over the garden in the twilight, the laughter of children playing football or an afternoon walk with friends.

He taught me to appreciate the moment, to cut away and forget about the mistakes, inequities and unfairness of the past. Not to worry about the future.  Do whatever you can now, this moment, this day, about anything that is worrying you.......then forget about those worries totally until the next day or the next action is needed. Focus on this moment in time, writing (or reading this blog), the conversation with your friend, savouring a great meal, reading to your child at night, fielding at long leg on a hazy, warm Sunday afternoon, appreciating the setting when you have been out first ball and have been taken off after one over having been hit for 28......... (I have had plenty of practise of this one !)

Ben’s death made me appreciate Annabelle who was two at the time. Taking time to listen to her, read those bedtime stories (which are always so bloody long) with care, patience and without rushing......especially when you are so tired at the end of a long office day and ache for a glass of wine a and a slob in front of the TV. Asking and listening to what she has been thinking, how she is feeling, what she is worried about, what she been delighted about....... of course Annabelle’s reading this thinking.........he’s been at the Whiskey again !!

I also think of the miracle of Alfie, born 5 years to the day after Ben was born. Now six years old and a boy’s boy. Besotted with balls, upsetting his sister, Bear Grylls, guns, the smell of petrol and the dissection of animals.

‘Jeez’ what sort of nonsense will I write if I ever get to the top of Everest....Stand by!!

After 40 mins at the top we then have to descend, which I haven’t done on a fixed line before. A request for a reminder of how to use a belay is met by a look to the heavens by one of the guides... I blame the altitude!

Going down is almost as hard as going up. Petter and Alexis go down with me, stifling giggles at my rubbish technique but I am very thankful of their help.

It has taken about 3 and a half hours to get up, I think it takes me almost 3 hours to get down.

I am exhausted. I am still coughing up green at the bottom and this infection has materially affected my performance which is quite frustrating and annoying. Normally at home in this condition I would only partake in very light tick over exercise, here I am going to the bottom of my lungs for almost 7 hours!

I sleep soundly for over 8 hours after a long volley of coughing and at one point fall asleep with a cough sweet in my mouth.....not such a good idea and probably as bad a way to go as in the Kathmandu International Airport Car park!

Sun 15^th April 2012 Lobuche Base Camp 4820m to Lobuche Camp One 5250m

After a reasonable night’s sleep it’s breakfast to discover that a few of us are suffering. A couple of Diahoreas (sp?), at least three head colds and a couple of us with lung infections. Lots of coughing, sniffling and groaning amongst these finely honed athletes.

We set off after lunch it’s only a short climb up rocks with only one small technical section where we have to use harnesses and fixed ropes, which is near the top of the climb.

Immediately I realise I have packed far too much gear as my pack weighs a lot. I am also wearing my 8,000m High Altitude boots for the first time. Every time I look at them I think of the word ‘Muck luck’. I don’t exactly know what ‘Muck luck’ is, or how to spell it but I think of something very big, quite heavy and cumbersome which sits on the end of a foot. Worn by Sailors or Eskimos? (Help....) As this climb entails balancing on large and small rocks these boots feel singularly ill designed for such a purpose and after a little uphill and quite a few major wobbles I am blowing and knackered.

I soldier on up, I am not last, but I am certainly not first.

I come to the technical bit. I have never actually been on a ‘fixed rope’ nor used an ascending device, called a ‘Jumar’, but unusually I have actually read the instructions and it seems very straightforward..... Until you are under pressure from a couple of impatient guides then it all falls apart. When you are a Slatter and are in a sticky spot in most sports one is genetically lucky enough to always resort to a bit of upper body brute strength and ignorance. This was a case and time in point.

Didn’t get many points for technique but I got up!

It’s snowing by the time we get to camp. We have some 7, two man tents perched on a ledge and it’s quickly inside one, with my ‘tent mate’ Dan and get arranged.

We cook and quickly establish the flatulence rules ......there are no flatulence rules!

The brief for tomorrows climb is shouted through the tent walls. We are the furthest away but understand it be a 5.30am move.

An evening trumpet sonata in D flat Major and we get our heads down. Dan is the same size as me; there isn’t a great deal of room!

Sat 14^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m to Lobuche Base Camp 4820m

All packed up ready for the off. We pack all our climbing gear and sleeping back into a big bag which will be taken down by Yak to Lobuche whilst we set off after lunch. It should be about a 2 and a half walk but as soon as I set off I am feeling rubbish. Weak in the legs, puffing hard on the uphill sections and coughing up green globules...... Not good news!

Finally get to Lobuche Base Camp about 2 hrs 45 mins after leaving Everest Base Camp. I have taken the same coming down almost 500m in  vertical height as I did going up 500m and have felt worse coming down. On top of that my hip is also aching.

I was diagnosed with Bursitis (an inflammation) of the Hip and had a Steroid injection some three weeks before I came out. The injection is supposed to last three months, I am in trouble if it is hurting after two weeks!

It’s quite cold and has started to snow by the time I get in.

Choose a tent, find my big bag and crash out for an hour.

Supper at 6.30pm then head down for an early night. We are climbing tomorrow.

I want to go home. Feeling rubbish.

Fri 13^th April 2012  Everest Base Camp 5300m

Rest Day

We are off to Lobuche Base Camp tomorrow so the climbing is finally going to start.

Not feeling so good.

Read my book, The White Spider, about the first successful ascent of the North Face of the Eiger. Probably ‘the’ classic climbing book.

We watch ‘Blades of Glory’ in the evening which I find very funny.  Not many others do!

It will be good to get going tomorrow.

Thurs 12^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Rest Day

Hmmm, no rest!

Once again a cold night, somewhere in the region of minus 13 Deg C. Every morning, despite trying to vent the tent I wake up to a layer of quite visible frost not only on the inside of the tent but also on my sleeping bag and any clothing or item (such as a mobile phone or iPod).

Every day we hear at least three or four quite large either snow or rock avalanches.  we tend to hear then more when in bed and some

Its light about 5.30am and I am always wide awake when the Sherpas come around with the hot towels and tea.

This morning we split the camp in two, effectively the WWTW guys and me, and the rest. We went off for a little 60 mins trek to get a view of Everest from a nearby ‘hillock’ and take some PR photos whilst the rest went to a much better vantage point but which would have been difficult for the film and photographers because of the number of people about.

Well what should have taken an hour took a bit longer as our Sherpa Guides seem to get lost! We ended up scrambling up some quite steep slopes and at 5,350m you really feel the bottom of the lungs, well at least I dd.

Afterwards I began to feel a bit odd.

I had sat next to one of the guides last night who was complaining of a chest cold. He had taken today off in bed.

Went to bed at a reasonable time. Not feeling too good.

Weds 11^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Rest Day

Awake to frost all over the inside of my tent. My sleeping bag is wet on top. Despite having vented the tent the temperature dropped to about -9 Deg C. The walls are wet near the bottom and frosty at the top. It gets light about 5am although we don’t see the sun until 8am. So it’s wet and cold from about 5am until 9am when the sun rises and by about 9.30am it’s unbearably hot in the tent.

Today we are having a medical to see how well we are acclimatising and are going for a 60 min stroll though the melee of other tents to the start of the Khumbu Icefall route.

It is obvious that we have the most luxurious set up on the mountain. It’s probably no coincidence that Himex have the best success rate of about 80% and all their clients have returned safely. Russ ensures we acclimatise properly; we eat well, keep healthy and keep comfortable. All helps to maximise our chances of success and minimises our chances of disaster.

The Icefall route is one of the biggest challenges as there are some 40 crossings across crevasses which are hundreds of feet deep. Many are crossed using aluminium ladders with up to three lashed together to cross the wider spans.

It’s a nice morning out, good to stretch the legs and then back in time for my medical.

Blood oxygen saturation is at 80%, at sea level they would be between 96 and 100%. My resting heart rate before I came out was about 46 bpm, here it’s about 60 bpm.

After lunch I have a nap. I have bought a half bottle of whiskey with me. It’s impossible to resist a slurp, with the medical out of the way. Great assistance for an excellent few hours of reading, music and kip.

I finish my second book detailing various misadventures on Everest! Trying to learn by others mistakes. If you are not on the summit by 2.30pm or it’s a bit windy....... Go Down!

Tonight Russ gives us slide show on his career as a mountain guide and expedition leader, complete with ridiculous achievements and very narrow escapes.

The guy is nuts. Very happy to continue to put ‘Company Director’ as my form of employment.

WWTW are sponsored by Glenfiddich. The first of many bottles is cracked open. I am offered a dram, which resembles a triple and is quickly quaffed.

I haven’t slept at all well the last two nights..... Tonight I sleep like a baby. 7 straight hours and an hour and a half dozing.

No photos until next week due to technology issues!!

PS Chris Merritt won the prize for the 'Great Nepelese Mole' spot on April the First!!

Tues 10^th April 2012 Everest Base Camp 5300m

Rest day

Now what happened on this day? Kind of nothing, we get woken at 7am with the hot flannel and hot tea. Breakfast at 8am.

It’s a day for  repacking kit as we are reunited with our Everest Kit Bags which were sent on up ahead of us. These bags have all our technical gear and climbing clothing.

I spend the whole morning taking equipment out of cardboard boxes, plastic packaging and price tags so’s I don’t look too much like the novice climbing knob I really am.

We are scattered around various small frozen lakes on great banks of shale. Clearly a huge amount of effort has been put in to level the areas for our tents including making retainer walls.

Each year all the permanent equipment (White Pod, Tents, Kitchen, Loos etc) has to be brought in from the nearest village a couple of miles away. Everything else, the consumables has to be carried up some 35 miles and some 9,000 ft, by foot. There are tons and tons of food, fuel and equipment that has to be brought up this way every year. A huge logistical task.

The mess tents have even more of a selection of teas, cereals, confectionary than the last place. Kids would love it..... A veritable ‘Candy Shop’.

Tonight we watch ‘Quantum of Solace’ after supper and then it’s back to that freezing tent, stumbling over rocks using a head torch to try and find your own tent.

Mon 9^th April 2012 Lobuche Base Camp 4820m to Everest Base Camp 5300m

Awoken at 7am, in our tents by Sherpas with hot flannels and hot tea. We have grown used to being given a hot towel at breakfast in the tea houses along the trek but from now on, at base camps, we will be given then in our tents. This really is the most effective way of waking up and clearing the sleep from your eyes. Does feel a little pampered, but I am sure we are worth it and it’s a good way to ensure that everyone is awake and makes breakfast in good time.

I had a really good sleep, about 8 hours with one small interruption, to change dreams!

We set off at 8.30am expecting to get to Everest Base Camp by lunch at 1pm. It’s quite cold but the sun is shining so as I head off with the lead group. I have gone for a t shirt and long trekking trousers. I have this great pair of trousers which can be transformed into shorts with the flick of a couple of appropriately placed zips. From man to boy in 10 seconds!

The route along the valley across the moraines takes us along the side of the valley but with lots of twist and turns and rises and descents. We are making good time with Adrian, the lead guide setting the pace.

Rule number one on this expedition is; don’t try to keep up with Adrian. Rule number two is....Doing forget rule number one!

However I am feeling good and with Pierre we slide in behind Adrian and hang in there! At one point Pierre pulls Adrian back... brave guy... it works for about 50m.

We stop a number of times for photos en route, including a titillating sneak of the Everest Summit, but soon espy the large collection of yellow tents and the one large central white ‘pod’ which is the unmistakably the HimEx main base camp.

We reach the monument just before our base camp, festooned with bright flags and a stone monument. This marks the end of the Trekkers route. They hoot with delight, take photos, paint or draw on the various rocks, and then they turn back from whence they came. The idea of the monument is to stop the numerous trekkers wandering into the various base camps of the Everest Expeditions.

As we near our camp we are stopped by a Trekker who asks us if the Himex ‘Pod’ is the ‘Everest Bakery’. ‘The Everest Bakery?.... er no why did you think it might be?’  The Trekker shows us her guide book showing the reference to the bakery. We note the date of her guide book ... 2009. Apparently there was indeed an Everest Bakery, sadly there isn’t any more!

We are greeted at the entrance by Russell Brice. It’s not a race, but the trek has taken us 2 hrs 45 mins, we were told it should have taken 3 and a half. It’s not a race, of course, but I am first!!

We await everyone’s arrival over the next few hours and then get a guided tour of this very impressive camp, the highlight of which is the’ white pod’ which resembles a night club and is the communal chill out area for the expedition. Rather ‘cushty’!

We have our own single tents complete with white cotton pillow...Home Sweet Home for the next 8 weeks or so !!

Sun 8^th April 2012  Lobuche Base Camp 4820m

Today is a rest day. A lot of people are suffering from headaches, which is normal and our Expedition doctor, Monica, is busy visiting all the mess tents (where we eat) at breakfast and supper checking on everyone’s health. A few of the WWTW guys are suffering from tummy problems which they picked up in the Hyatt Hotel in Kathmandu. We try to stay upwind of them!

I spend the day updating my blog, reading, then I discover that if I wish to tog up (it’s quite cold and misty) and climb up 400ft I might get some mobile phone reception.

So whilst it’s sunny and bright I am inside the tent and most of the guys are

outside sitting in the sun, watching Lobuche being climbed by a bunch of climbers. In fact they get so absorbed that Pierre, of all people, who normally completely covers his face on the trail, ends up getting a healthy touch of sunburn!

When I have finished my work inside the tent of course the sun has gone and the clouds have rolled in, however I haven’t spoken to Olivia and the children for a few days and it is Easter Sunday so up I go. As we are so high what appears as mist are actually clouds so as I climb the ridge above the camp site, in between clouds, I am treated to a view of the valley up which we will be travelling up tomorrow.

These are massive glacial valleys with huge piles of moraine which have been dragged and pushed down over the centuries by the glaciers.

The whole scene is reminiscent of an outsize motorway project!

I make my calls and hasten back down the ridge. As I do a female trekker is making her way to the outside ladies latrine. It has been strategically placed and a wall built so as to afford complete privacy from the camp area. Of course it affords no privacy from where I am descending from as I traverse down the ridge. Surely she has seen me.... Surely she has seen me and will delay her vital actions about 30s to allow me to pass. OMG she hasn’t seen me as buckles are released and a firm downward shift of clothing is commenced. In order to preserve her dignity I execute a sharp 90 degree turn to traverse in the opposite direction, not an easy manoeuvre on what is a very steep slippery slope, but embarrassment is avoided and by the time I reach the valley floor there is no sign of the woman. We are both clearly ‘relieved’!

Off to Everest Base Camp tomorrow!

Sat 7^th April 2012  Pheriche 4240m to Lobuche Base Camp 4820m

Wake up with a small headache at 5.30am and it’s definitely the smoke, which once again has invaded our room as I didn’t drink anything last night and the headache yesterday wore off after an hour or so.

Chimo later tells me that he has seen the staff burning plastic bottles in the fire. Great, it’s not as though we don’t have enough to deal with! The headache wears off just after breakfast.

Decide to get off in the first group today, give myself a bit of pain and deal with these Lobuche demons. 

The snow that fell yesterday has all but melted but its cold, well below freezing.

Brian, an American Guide and Pierre my roommate set off at a reasonable lick. Pierre was born a Frenchman but moved to the Midlands some 16 years ago and works for the Mercedes Formula One team as a mechanical engineer. A Brummy Frenchman with a delightful hybrid accent to match. ‘You oar right zis morninggg Mark’?.’ I add too mush Coq last night and add to piss by yur tent’

Now a strange thing is happening. As we yomp towards this Lobuche lump, the cloud that has been encircling it starts to clear and as we get closer I can see the route up. My fear starts to subside replaced by a renewed confidence. I can get up that.....Twice!

As we start to climb, the first of the two ‘grunts’ (as the steeper uphill sections are know by the Guides) I have to decide whether to keep up with these guys.

Brian has been at the back for most of the trek so in need of a blow out. Pierre summated Manaslo, another Himalayan peak of over 8,000m, without Oxygen in October and is one of, if not the strongest, of the group.

It’s a wee bit faster than perhaps I might have chosen to go but not uncomfortable and I still stop to take photographs and keep with them when they stop to take off clothing as we warm up.

We get to the half way point for a short break as Francis, Martin and Jaco from WWTW catch us up.

I must always remember ....this IS a race!!

We now tackle a steep 300m of vertical height grunt. We speed past numerous trekkers and reach the top, it’s a good pace but I have kept up, they all have about 20 years on me but haven’t managed to shake of the old codger at the back.

Sadly I realise this is probably the last time I will be able to keep up with them at pace, but I have enjoyed the moment and have felt no ill effects.

We are almost at the stop but at the top of the rise we have just cruised up a poignant moment. This area is littered with monuments both religious and to those that have died trying to climb Everest. Another reminder as if we need one!

I am greedy for life, I want to return. I won’t take any undue risks. I don’t need to climb this mountain, but I am enjoying every single step of this remarkable journey, easily the most incredible I have ever undertaken.

The Lobuche Base Camp appears a few minutes after we resume walking. It’s quite a spectacle. 50 two man and 8 large ‘mess’, kitchen and toilet tents. All in prominent, yellow, branded Himex (the expedition organisers) colours.

We were told to trek this morning would take between 3 to 5 hours. It has taken just 2 hours.

The boys from WWTW and Pierre are nothing short of ecstatic to be here. They throw themselves into the first mess tent, once they have washed their hands and sterilised in the open air sink unit, in order to minimise sickness within the camp. It’s  an Aladdin’s cave of Snickers bars, Pringles, M & Ms, Mints, Crunchies, Mars Bars, Energy Bars, Bounty’s etc . Plus hot water and an array of teas, breakfast, Assam, Earl ‘Gay’ (as it’s known), Rosehip Hibiscus, Lemon and Ginger, Peppermint, Taj Mahal, Strawberry, and Tila Azhar Infusions, whatever on earth they are!

We have one two man tent each. After 10 days of sharing rooms there is an added unprintable elation from the boys at this too.

Luxury ..... Shear luxury.

The rest of the day is spent lunching, chatting, unpacking our kit and admiring the Lobuche peak which towers above us.

Fri 6^th April 2012  Pheriche 4240m

Today is a rest day.

Last night the financial aspect of my divorce was completed so the divorce really became final. I am sure it’s a weight off both mine and Sarah’s shoulders. Relief, but a tinge of sadness too. I hope we can both get on with our lives and establish a good working relationship, for the sake of our children as well as each other.

A few beers were consumed. Four and half small cans of lager and a small scotch. At 14,000ft that’s a skinful! Awoke with a slight headache but whether it was the alcohol, the altitude or the smoke from the fires that they start at 5.30 am and which invades the sleeping area, I couldn’t tell.

Breakfast is at 8am....luxury!

I spend most of the day catching up on my Blog and emails. Damn it, had a few emails saying you are enjoying the Blog it so will have to keep going with the blasted thing!

No mobile service so I can’t email the photos from my phone, to my computer and then onto the Blog until I get to Everest Base Camp on Monday.

Just outside the Internet Cafe I am camped in there is a memorial and a plaque with the names of  all of those would have fallen in their summit bid. It’s the one you don’t want your name on!

Overnight it has snowed a couple of inches, but the sun is soon out and as the snow starts to melt we are treated to a view of our first ‘training’ peak, Lobuche East Summit at 6119m (approx 20,000ft).

As part of the acclimatisation process we need to go slowly to ever higher heights but as the most dangerous part of the Everest climb is the transit through the Khumbu Icefield, this expedition minimises this risk by climbing Lobuche twice, including a night camped at the top on the second climb. This means that we only go through the Icefield four times rather than eight, thus reducing this particular risk by half.

So I was expecting Lobuche to be something of a gentle, rounded, snowy hillock at 6,000m.

What on Earth was I thinking? Where on this trip have we seen anything apart from fearsome, steep, pointy summits? Lobuche is no exception. From Pheriche the mountain looks horrendous. I want to go home.....NOW.... I don’t want to climb that ruddy thing ‘twice’!

All my psychological preparations are shattered. It’s a proper scary mountain in its own right. I have been totally misold, I want my money back and a chopper.....and I want the chopper NOW! 

I am not a climber; I am a pansy property developer. What was I thinking? I consult my colleagues and the guides; there is no comfort from them. ’Yer, it’s pretty steep, pretty technical’ muses Woody the Kiwi guide.

Bollocks, I suppose I have to take a lesson from these wounded soldiers, grit my teeth, stop being a complete Nancy and get on with it.

I go to bed ... worried!

Thurs 5^th April 2012 Phortse to Pheriche 4240m

A big travel day today. Time estimate is 5 to 9 hours. I decide to tag along with the WWTW nutters. They are always the fastest and as ITV are making a 90 min documentary of the trip and we have two photographers from Associated Press following them as well there is always the slim chance of getting on telly or in the papers.

There are two guys doing the documentary, Alexis and Petter. Alexis is a veteran of many North and South Pole trips but has not been higher than about 4,500m. Petter is Norwegian and has already scaled Everest previously. They have a porter who literally sprints past us from time to time with a heavy tripod as they organise themselves for the various shots along the route.

For me it’s a constant dilemma. Do I hang back to let them get the shot of the WWTW guys all walking together, or, in pursuit of my own fame do I get in amongst them? By timing my run when I see the cameras set up ahead,  I can elegantly and seamlessly position myself in amongst them, feigning my most wistful look, trying to look the least out of breath, with chest puffed out and stomach tucked in, maybe I can’t resist one big cheesy look into the camera as I glide past. Fame will surely beckon ?

Or

‘Who is that middle aged weirdo doing a Rowan Atkinson impression?’

I fear I will have to remain anonymous!

So we reach the first stop in 2 hours and it should have taken three. We then hit the lunch stop in a further hour. We are early and have to wait an hour.

The scenery is quite similar to yesterday, stunning!

Oops I have just realised yesterdays post was wrong, it was today when we captured a glimpse of Everest and Lhotse. Will insert the photo once I get to base camp.

After lunch we have a simple hours hike to Pheriche during which I walk with Wisey.

We chat about the charity and he tells me about how he got injured. He was specifically targeted and took a round through his left lung. Immediately he knew it was bad. In fact it was so bad and he was in so much pain that at one point the medic thought he was almost certainly going to die and offered to make his end as peaceful as possible. Wisey, greedy for more beers and laughs politely declined.

When they got him onto the helicopter his heart stopped beating twice and they had to resuscitate him. During the flight his lungs were so full of blood they had to perform an emergency procedure on him, without anaesthetic, which entailed making a number of incisions, through his broken ribs in order to suck out the blood from in and around his damaged lungs. Much as you would siphon out petrol. He was fully conscious throughout and said the pain was excruciating.

He remembers almost slipping off twice, but it was the thought of his wife, his child and his unborn child which gave him the strength to fight on.

I am glad I am wearing sunglasses as the emotion and tears well up in my eyes. All thoughts of this young man’s experiences render everything else unimportant at that moment in time.

(I can’t keep crying during this bloody blog..... I used to be a Royal Marine!)

Once in the hospital he was still conscious and was put on Ketamin, which while safer than Morphine, has major hallucinogenic properties. So much so that the memories of those awful dreams still haunts him. Once on the operating table they thought his chances were poor. He pulled through though, was in intensive care for over a week and the bullet is still lodged in his lung to this day.

He tells me about how having seen a number of his comrades killed or badly injured leading up to the day he got shot and also remembers chatting with his commanding officer some weeks beforehand admitting he didn’t think he would come through the tour unscathed. He was mildly shocked when his CO said he had come to the same conclusion some weeks ago himself.

The conversation reminds me of why I justified doing this selfish thing of attempting to climb the world’s tallest mountain.

Some two years ago I set out trying to sponsor the first injured Royal Marine to the top of Everest  Unfortunately the Navy doctors, who make all the medical decisions decided that it was their job to make the injured better rather than worse, blocked the proposal, thus ignoring the insoirational effect such an expedition would provide the injured. The Army decided differently and WWTW completed a very successful expedition to the North Pole last year which gave them the green light for ths years Everst Expedition.

I was able to help WWTW by introducing them to Russel Brice and have committed to a secondary aim of  raising money for charities that care for the injured and the bereaved, The Pyal Marine Benevolent Fund, but even more so to begin to raise awareness of the shortcomings in the aid and assistance given to those affected by the state.

These brave young men don’t really have a complete understanding of the risks they take and whilst they accept their injuries and meagre compensation packages with a stoicism that is difficult for me to understand that doesn’t mean to say it is fair or does not need correcting.

We arrive at Pheriche. It has good accommodation and a decent hot shower, an orderly queue is formed!